Friday, November 11, 2005

How about some helmets that are microwave safe, too?

If you’re a paranoid psychotic, as many of the people who seem to read this site are (you know who you are!), then this is some news that is of the utmost importance to you.

You know those aluminum foil helmets you’re wearing around the house? They’re not working. In fact, they are making things worse.

Engineers at MIT performed a study on multiple types of foil helmets, prized and recommended for blocking radio signals that the government may be directing at you in order to read your thoughts or directly control you, depending on who you ask.

The foil hats actually serve to amplify the signals, especially in frequency ranges used by the government. From the study:
It requires no stretch of the imagination to conclude that the current helmet craze is likely to have been propagated by the Government, possibly with the involvement of the FCC. We hope this report will encourage the paranoid community to develop improved helmet designs to avoid falling prey to these shortcomings.
So what’s next? Lead helmets would probably cause undue neck strain and back problems, so I’m leaving it up to you guys to figure out a proper protective covering to block out these frequencies.

The findings of the study are published here, and a related news story can be found here.


Angeline Rose Larimer said...

Maybe consuming alcohol? Get too drunk to comprehend what the government is trying to say?

Segue said...

Based on my knowledge of electromagnetic shielding, I would imagine that a copper hair net with a grounding-wire would probably work pretty well.

That's basically how Air Force planes are shielded from an Electromagnetic Pulse (EMP).