Friday, January 08, 2010

Reclamation of the Rotating Mass: Preamble



From the Gospel:

For many days, the monkey who stood before all monkeys sat in meditation and silence, allowing only wine to pass his lips, for the wine was sustenance, and the wine was life.

After many days of meditation, the master awoke, as if from a deep sleep. And he was alone.

This made him angry, for anger was his way.

Where are my children? He called out.

But his children did not answer.

The master gathered his wits and his wheels and decided that it was time to go out and regather his children. For too long had he sat in silence, and it had been long since he was truly angry. With his children at his sides, the time was right again for wheels, wine and much rocking of the world.

And yet, when he approached to door of his house he was pushed back by whiteness, by coldness and by stillness. And this made him afraid.

And his fear led to much anger.

The master gnashed his teeth and beat furiously upon his chest, and willed the cold away.

But the cold was relentless.

And so the master retired to his home once again, to meditate upon the stillness.

“Soon,” he declared angrily, “soon this cold will lift from our land, and I will gather my children once more, and there will be wheels, wine and much rocking of the world.

This is my promise, for I am angry and I am monkey.”

And, across the world, his children heard, and they were not afraid. They became filled with anger, and they were ready.

And the world felt their anger. And the world was not afraid. It, too, was ready. Ready to be rocked.


A reading from the Book of the Rotating Mass
Previous readings are listed here and here.

Man, it’s only January and we’ve only had one snowfall, but I am already sick of winter and I miss my bike(s) desperately.

Potato Salad Anyone?

When we were at Pompeii on Thanksgiving, we traveled through the ruins of the brothel. There, on the walls, was a visual "menu" of the various things you could request from the, ummm... employees of the establishment. They were quite explicit.

This prompted K, who was blushing as we left the building, to declare, "Wow, we haven't invented anything..."

It's true, anything innovative, crazy, new or sexy probably isn't that new. Our culture has been around a long time, and we've had a lot of times to come up with stuff over and over.

Case in point. These are the Ross sisters. This was shot in 1944. Lady Ga Ga? Beyonce? All you performers? Take note, 'cause your asses all just got served by your grandparents.

This is "Potato Salad."

Thursday, January 07, 2010

How can I bring you up to speed when I'm not sure what the speed limit is?

The masses have spoken. Dogs are better than cats. Personally, I like both my pets, but in general I have to agree. So, sometimes the masses are right.

Looking back for a moment, this is a video from my favorite album of 2009, We're Counting On The Youth by New Tomorrow. Seriously.



They're a band with a great sound and a great message which is great, because we need some good messages right now.

Also, they have never - NEVER - played in Detroit. Fix this, guys.

So far this year is a little scatterwonky and confusing on the workfront and the lifefront, but I think I mean that in a good way, in the sort of way that chaos is setting things up for what will be a good thing. TFN has a new job, and I have started out the new year accomplishing things.

For one, the producers of the TV show Hoarders were getting in touch with me. While I am not one to shy away from publicity in any form, this is one that I really think I didn’t want to get involved in.

So we cleaned our bedroom.

I’m not talking about a dust and vacuum, either. We took the contents of all the drawers, the chest, the closet, everything in the room, and piled it on the bed. That way, before we could sleep, we had to handle each and every article of clothing we owned, fold it or hang it, and make the decision if it needed to be kept, tossed or donated.

This is the first time we’ve done such a grand purge in a long time, and we generated three garbage bags of clothes to donate.

Then, on cue, Purple Heart called and asked if we had anything to donate. Funny how that plays out.

I also, as I have hinted, got my hands on another bike. It’s pretty, and I will have photos soon, but right now it’s still in the back of my car. It’s a late’50s/early ‘60s Hawthorne Hercules, and I love it. It will look good alongside TFN’s Schwinn, which is currently in pieces, getting refurbed.

TFN got the Julia Child cookbook for Christmas, and two recipes in, I have to testify to Julia's genius.

We, of course, like everyone else, got interested in Julia after seeing Julie and Julia. I was positively infatuated with that film. One, it's an excellent film. Two, Julie reminds me of someone I cook with on a regular basis, someone well known for saying how much she hates our tiny little kitchen, how it's impossible to cook in it, but yet turns out some amazing dishes.

What else? I am already sick of winter. I am looking forward to March’s annual trip to Austin. I have several hundred photos from the past year that I still need to upload.

So yeah, really I just want to bring you guys all up to speed in as fast and furious a way as possible, without saying too much, I guess.

I have a lot of hope for this year. Like the whole world, things are in limbo, but I got a good feeling this is the year it happens.




This is the year it all happens.

Whatever "it" is.

Thursday, December 31, 2009

A New Year's Gift To Me...

I just bought a new (to me) bike... I pick it up Sunday. Photos to come...

Goodnight...

Can it be? Are we actually looking at the end of another year? Wow…

For what it’s worth, it was a good one. For me anyway. I traveled, put a story in another book, wrote a lot, rode my bike, grew tomatoes and lived.

For a lot of people, it wasn’t as great. A lot of my friends lost their jobs, and Detroit continues to scrabble for economic survival. We’d all move away, but our houses aren’t exactly sellable right now, you know?

CNN posted a story that advocates an idea I’ve talked about for a while. If the city is becoming a wasteland, why not level it all and send it back to the wilderness? OK, maybe not that far, but why not large-scale urban farming? I think it’s a radical, innovative idea that could help Detroit reach a level of self-sufficiency and profitability again, as well as eliminating some serious blight.

I didn’t come here to get political, though. I came here to wish you all a Happy New Year, and to tell you to remember to put a penny on the windowsill tonight.

Cheers!

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Ain't goin' nowhere...



Just to prove I'm still around... here's a kitten.

Just got back from Italy. There are some good pics coming...

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Hey Marine!

Just for the record, this is TFN's absolutely favorite video clip right now. Go ahead and and watch it, it's only six seconds long.



Z is in town tonight; we're going to eat crawfish.

Monday, October 12, 2009

The new baby


This is the new baby. She's a 1968 Schwinn Breeze, and after we spend the winter working on restoring her, she's going to be TFN's neighborhood cruiser.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

All my best friends are metalheads...



Lucero was awesome. I made my way into a pit for the first time since Flatfoot 56. I’m getting too old for pits, especially the full-blown hardcore bust-over-the-head type pits. In order for me to make my way into pits anymore, the vibe has to be perfect – the crowd has to have a positive buzz, a bunch of folks there to have a good time, and I also have to be feeling the music, too.

This one was perfect, a crowd that pleasantly drunk, just out for fun, not out for blood, just there to reel with the music, to make enjoying Lucero a common experience. And reel we did… it was perfect. At one point, during “Nights Like These,” the whole pit stopped, and shouted

“The beer tastes like blood, my mouth is numb.
I can't make the words I need to say
She had a weakness for writers, and I was never that good with words anyway.”

Then we all high-fived one another, and the music ctarted rolling again, and so did we.

I’ve said it before, but Ben Nichols is a poet, and I like to meet him, and I’d like to meet his muse.

Man, what is a muse?

In Greek mythology, there were nine of them, and they were goddesses who presided over the arts, and inspired the artists. But that was a long time ago, when Greek art, music, poetry, etc. was all pretty structured. Back then, as one who aspires to be a writer, I would have answered to Calliope perhaps, who was a pretty little thing who inspired epic poems. Oddly enough, her lover was Ares, the god of war, and they had kids together.

It just goes to show that opposites attract, I guess, for those of us who subscribe to that particular lyric “The opposite of war isn’t peace – it’s creation” - which as a musical lyric may have been inspired by the Muse Erato, who inspired lyric poetry. She was well-known for inspiring love and erotic poems, but was never really hooked up with any gods. She was then either getting it on with everyone, or a tragic figure that inspired what she wasn’t having.

In any case, nine Muses were fine when the world was smaller and the art more rigid. But they don’t really cut it now. I think that as the world got bigger, and the poets, artists, lovers and dreamers spread around the world, the Muses found they couldn’t handle the increased workload, so they allowed the creation of more muses (not the change to the lowercase).

Somehow, for better or for worse, everyone who aspires to create now finds their own muse, one who’s always there to inspire the artists to make their own particular brand of art. Except of course when the muse is not there, which is frustrating, sometimes, but sometimes it’s also even more frustrating when they are around.

I think, as the lineage of the muses got watered down, and they got scattered throughout the world, they changed. They’re not related to one another, at least not in appearance, and they very rarely have anything in common with one another. When a muse goes away for a while, it’s a safe bet he/she’s not hanging out with other muses. Except when he/she comes back looking like he/she’s been in a bar fight. Then he/she was around other muses. Or he/she was just in a bar fight.

But where do our muses come from? Do we create them, or do we find them? Or do they find us? If we don’t create them, where are they before and after us? Do they travel from artist to artist? Or are they born with us, and will die with us. If they will die with us, what inspires muses to inspire suicidal, tragic poets to die young, unless they themselves are suicidal tragic figures who want to die young?

And if my muse is older than I am, who did he help before? I mean honestly, who would want this muse other than me? Who would really be inspired by a barefoot, dirty, towheaded, socially awkward, mildly manic, slightly offensive, pleasantly drunk muse other than me?

What’s your muse look like?

Friday, September 18, 2009

It's Nights Like These

"She had a weakness for writers, and I was never that good with words anyway."



Lucero.

I love this band. I have always wanted to see this band. Frontman Ben Nichols is a poet that sounds like a country-fried Kurt Cobain, and I worship every release they've done.

Did I mention I like them?

Well, here's the deal. They're playing tonight, and I'm going. But it gets better. They're playing the Ferndale Drunkfest DIY Fest! Which means, I will ride my bike to watch them play outside, while I sit in the grass and drink beer and talk to my friends.

Which is the best way to see a band like this.

I'm looking forward to seeing all my friends tonight, to raise a beer and say goodbye to the summer.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Thank you, Mr. President!

I love this, because I agree with him. Kanye West IS a jackass.



"I know we're all sad about Patrick Swayze, but Micheal Jackson did the best celebrity death of the year!" - Kanye West

Friday, September 11, 2009

Eight Years Ago...

I won't say much about it, except to point out this poster that came out seven years ago.



It's a poster that I and another artist created at the ad agency I worked for at the time. It remains some of my best work, I think. I hadn't really thought about it in a while, until an old coworker posted it on FaceBook today.

Beatles Rock Band has made it to our house... so yeah, not much is getting done round there. The only way that things are even getting tidied up is that folks are coming over tonight... you know, to play Beatles Rock Band.

Labor Day came and went in a road trip to Chicago. It was a good time, as all Labor Days should be, a day off and saying goodbye to the summer. I do, however, try to take a moment to think about what that day is about. My dad was a union man, and at one time, I've was part of the UAW as well.




I know the unions have done a lot for my family, for a few generations now; I come from a few generations of factory and auto workers. There will always be a blue collar wrapped around my heart.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Poor, poor Paprika...


paprika
Originally uploaded by alpharat
So this morning, Paprika reached out to all of her friends as well as some casual acquaintances, via Facebook.

It seems that she was robbed at gunpoint in London last night. The crooks took all of her money and her plane ticket, but fortunately not her passport, but she was stranded. She just needed a loan to pay for her hotel, get a cab to the airport and a plane ticket.

Personally, I don't know why she wouldn't have paid for her hotel with a credit card, and I would think the airport would be able to take care of her as long as she had her passport, but what do I know? I wasn't there.

Fortunately, I told her that I knew some guys in London who owed me cash and a favor. If she would just tell me where to meet her, I would send some guys over with 1,200 pounds for her. There was no need to worry about the safety of the transaction I told her, because I trusted these guys, and they were also very big. A bunch of hooligans I told her, but nice guys.

Anyway, if she would just give me a location, the six of them would bring her an envelope full of cash, and take her to the airport.

I'm not sure why, but she never responded after that. Then she even unfriended me.

Maybe it's because the real Paprika was sleeping soundly in Texas at the time.

Then again, what do I know.

So I'm happy she made it back to Texas safely without ever realizing the trauma she had been through in London, and here's hoping that Facebook fixes this ASAP.

Seriously.

Monday, August 31, 2009

It's a bad day for the True Believers...

I can't help but think the Disneyfication of all I hold true is upon us. Get ready for a softer, cuddlier, more friendly version of Wolverine, kids. Maybe with lollipops for claws and some trademark mouse ears.

Disney to Acquire Marvel Entertainment

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Is it my birthday?

If recent events are any indication, it just may be. Emagine entertainment has announced plans to open a cinema/bowling complex in Royal Oak.

What does this mean?

A. A major cinema within biking distance from my house.
B. A major cinema that serves beer... within biking distance from my house.

I heart this news.

Not-so-glorious Basterds

We saw "Inglourious Basterds" this weekend, and if I had to sum up the film in a sentence it would be this: Quentin Tarantino needs to get the fuck over himself.

Don't get me wrong, it's a good movie. The story is good, the acting amazing.

It's just that the movie is almost three hours long, and that's about 45 minutes too long.

I imagine Tarantino has this stable of kissups and toadies who have him convinced that he is so amazing that he can do no wrong, that every shot he takes and every bit of dialogue is so amazing that he must use it ALL. I don't think he knows how to edit anymore, or believes that anything he does ever needs to be edited. Ever.

Mr. Tarantino, building suspense and boring the viewer are two different things. Your scenes and movies are too long, and use too much unneccesary C-R-A-P.

Incidentally, even though the movie was way too long, it was done so at the expense of the Basterds, who themselves were ignored in their early days in lieu of spending too much time developing a story that could have been developed in half the time.

Hopefully, they'll rerelease the movie on DVD as a... what's the opposite of a director's cut?