Friday, February 13, 2009

Pills, peas and a box of soup

Aside from the financial output of it, I love grocery shopping. I love going to the grocery store, certain ones anyway - those ones that offer what people in the industry call a good user experience.

At one time, I raved about Westborn, but that one has fallen by the wayside because their deli workers are mean and get meaner if you want more than one thing from the meat or deli counter and we've picked up produce that only lasted a few days from there, and even some that was revealed to be moldy when we got it home.

Plus, the last time we went (we still pop in there for produce, simply because it's convenient) they were out of jalapenos. Seriously, what the eff? What store runs out of something like jalapenos?

Really, the main reason I liked it was because the coffee smelled good in there.

One store that I am madly in love with is Trader Joe's. Seriously, I heart this place.

This guy made a commercial that sums up the way I feel about TJ's perfectly.

I hope the folks at TJ's give him a job for it.

Speaking of jobs...

Kwame just got a job in Texas yesterday. With Compuware.

This sickens me.

Compuware is a Detroit-based company that has, over the past few years, faced layoffs and cutbacks due to the failing economy. On Tuesday, they even announced the reduction of another 250 jobs in the Detroit office.

Apparently, they're doing well enough to hire the man who helped wreck Detroit, though.

While they are the sort of company that the average consumer doesn't use, I will be going out of my way to not have anything to do with them, and to let others know that I am not impressed by their choice at all. I can't see anyplace on a corporate roster where a thug like Kwame would even fit in, and have little respect for a company that feels otherwise.


The other night we went to a pretty people bar for a friend's birthday.

Pretty people bars are the sort of places I don't tend to go to. The reasons are, I think, obvious, so I won't go into it.

That being said, pretty people bars deserve a place in the world, because they give those people a place to go so I don't have to encounter them, except on the rare occasion that I end up at one of these places.

At any rate, this is the conversation I heard in the men's room, between a Russian guy and another guy. All of these people at the pretty people bar are quite interchangeable, mind you, and the only characteristic that distinguishes Russian guy from anyone else in there was his accent, so he's got that going for him, which is nice:

Russian guy: You go to next bar with us?

Other guy: No, man I have to work tomorrow.

Russian guy: You work where?

Other guy: Costco.

Russian guy: You doctor?

Other guy: No, a pharmacist.

Russian guy: Good. You get us Viagra?

True story, folks.


Jennifer said...

"Ingredients: steer pizzle."

Since when is Shawn Carter in the ad copy/label writing bizz-ay?

I'd just about kill for a Trader Joe's in my neighborhood. It takes four or five stops, and a couple of them unsavory, to come within 35% of a Trader Joe's user experience up here. That's too many miles, too much coin, and too much time.

Actively boycotting compuware now. How do we form a Facebook group and take it viral? Effing Kwame and anyone who gives him undue cred can suck steer pizzle's what I'm saying.

And why Costco doesn't just up & hire a revolving shift of MDs for every outlet is beyond me. I mean, they could sell a LOT more Viagra if they had a guy on site who could actually write the scrip, right? And it's all about the boner [SCRATCH BONER] bottom line, right?

Does Costco sell steer pizzle?

If Costco sells steer pizzle, is it hormone- and Viagra-free (not that I don't adore an erect pizzle, but, you know, circumstances and species mean a lot to me)?

Anonymous said...

If our TJ's carried booze I'd move in and never leave.