Turtles and Stuff

I like turtles. Just a few weeks ago, I told The Fabulous Nicole that we needed a turtle. She said no. Then I suggested we get two turtles, so that they could keep each other company and be even less work, but she also said no to this. I am still coming to terms with this (then again, this comes after a conversation a few years ago where she told me I could have Sea Monkeys once I proved that I could be responsible enough to care for them. A few years later, I still don't have Sea Monkeys, and don't even let's get started about the Ant Farm conversation...), but I think reality is setting in that I will never have my little turtles, obviously and unoriginally named Cowboy Pete and Linda "The Ragin' Cajun" Beauvier.

I even picked them out, too. These are my two turtles. I think they would make a very cute couple (Linda's the one with the pretty eyes):


Now, on the topic of turtles, I am currently watching a turtle race very closely. Unlike t your average run-of-the-mill turtle races that they show on ESPN 4 on Saturday afternoons, this is the big one. It's the Great Turtle Race.

Every year, the Leatherback Turtles (well, the girl ones anyway) go to Costa Rica and lay eggs. Then, when they're done, they head back to the Galapagos. The first one backs gets a wide selction of valuable cash and prizes. The grand prize last year was a Ford Escort, this year it's an upright washer and dryer and a billiards table. But as in all events in this circuit, the real prize is bragging rights. And lucrative sponsorship deals. And a cut in some certain illicit businesses.

At any rate, this year the turtles allowed themselves to be tagged in order to expose the seedy underbelly of this event, which apparently has so many side bets going on that a lot of underhanded stuff goes on. Apparently, someone in previous years had even paid to have a shark hit put on one of the favored contenders prior to its start. Nobody was pinned with it, but not many people will forget watching the starting ceremonies last year when the camera caught the surprised look on one of the racer's faces when the racer who had avoided the hit in question showed up defiantly at the starting line, security entourage in tow.

That's just how serious they are.

The Great Turtle Race kicked off two days ago, and my pick Billie is currently in 3rd, but she's not that far back and it's a long race; a lot can happen over the next few weeks.