Thursday, December 15, 2005

Old people need to stop trying to ruin my Christmas!

So I am starting to get into the swing of things, Christmaswise, even if it's not altogether in a traditional sense.

I took yesterday off to get my Christmas shopping done, and got a large portion of it finished,and I even had time to get lunch and a beer with Mike, as well as going up to the 44th district court to address a bench warrant on my wife. Good news! She won't be going to jail!

Seriously, I find it interesting that they can drop that kind of threat on you over a parking ticket from an expired meter, but they do claim that they have that right.

Last night, I chased away the winter blues by going out for some summer food - raw oysters and hurricanes at Howe's Bayou. Today the blues are back; we are getting buried in snow, and all I can think about is what a bitch getting home will be.


When it comes to Christmas shopping, there are pros and cons to spending a day on it.

On the pro side, there are fewer people out there, lines tend to be shorter, parking lots less crowded.

On the con side, the people that are out there tend to be senior citizens who can't do anything quickly.

I don't mind the elderly, except when I'm driving behind them, or standing behind them at a checkout. As if the slow driving weren't bad enough, I really can't figure out how a person in front of me at a checkout can have one or two items and manage to take 10 minutes paying for them. Especially when I get up there and it's wham, scan, thank you ma'am.

And don't get me started on the U-scans at the grocery store. Those are designed to give me an expedited shopping experience. I can buy som cat food and a soda and be out the store four minutes after I've entered. Unless they are occupied by elderly people who have to press their faces two inches from the screen to read what it says - and then they get in their cars and drive away! I don't care how slow they're driving, if you can't see the screen, odds are you're a danger on the road.

There are also the social shoppers out during the day. These are the people (also usually elderly) who are apparently so starved for attention that they try to make a meaningful moment with the cashier as they're checking out, and while I'm waiting behind them. Look, I don't care about your life story or who you're shopping for, and neither does the cashier. That cashier is a college student who gets paid $6/hour to ring you up, and that's not nearly enough for them to have to listen to your life as well. This is what bartenders are for, so make your purchase and go get a margarita at T.G.I.Friday's if you need to talk to someone. Just remember to tip well.

I realize that I'm preaching to the choir here, but this was more a need to vent some venom. People need to figure out that shopping is a process with a beginning, middle and end; it's fine to complete that process in any way you like, just don't do it in a way that impedes me on my day off.

That just makes me cranky.

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